Play of the Day

Dearest Readers! I give to you, as the play of my Labor Day, my carefully constructed invitation for an upcoming soiree in honor of my departure from Los Angeles:

To my immense sorrow, I must now serve as the herald of a great empire’s immanent collapse.

Taxes levied have been too high.The funds that might have served the people have been squandered on the excesses of the elite. What once stood as a gleaming beacon, a power with which few would dare to reckon, is now meager, paltry and insufficient. The city is lost. But I beg of you: let me fiddle in your company as the the towers of this, the Empire of my presence in lovely, decadent Los Angeles, are swallowed by the flames of time and progress, relentless harpies that they are.

Yes, oh beloved citizens of the sprawl, I must depart for the rust belt charms of Cleveland, Ohio*, pale though such charms will always be in comparison to those once offered by our shared, our sweet Los Angeles.

Join me in one last, one great, one bacchanalian** celebration before my departure. We will drink beer in the light of the late summer sun. We will eat cloven-hooved animals***. We will laugh and carouse as the epoch of my glory comes to its fiery close.

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*I am taking a job as the Baker-Nord Center Postdoctoral Scholar in the Digital Humanities at Case Western Reserve University.+
**Togas are welcome but not required. Wine stored in the stretched and dried intestines of animals, also welcome, as will be sacrificial offerings to the gods.
***It’s a barbecue. Bring some booze. Some foodstuffs. Some friends. Something to throw on the grill. Or bring nothing but your welcome selves. Some beer and some carnitas will be provided.
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+Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is my title. But I would prefer it if you would refer to me, over the course of the party, simply as ‘Caligul-alli’.